I need to have a purpose… A reason to exist
I don’t want to exist to merely exist
But I can’t find anything to exist for….
I can’t find my purpose..
Why are my birthdays always so depressing?
Why are they constant reminders of how alone and pathetic I really am..
Just every year its the same thing.
Me wishing for this day to be over..
So happy fucking birthday to me I suppose…
Most people live in the future, always looking ahead to the next big change that will make there lives complete and seem meaningful…
The others live entirely in the past, never truly able to move forward from the way it used to be..which in the end means the way things will never be again.
I don’t know who is the bigger fool..
Sometimes when all is hopeless
When you’re watching everything that made your existence an existence in the first place fade away
And you’re so lost that all you can see is darkness overpowering the light
Close your eyes try to remember the loving moments in life that made it meaningful
And hold on to those moments..escape reality
if only for a little while…..
My Mood consists of the small little things that make me happy
To sadness..at seeing other people truly happy and free
Suddenly comes envy and a deep anger..
Then to irritation because I am angry and envious and there is no point in being
Finally being so disgusted with myself and the way I am ….that I fall back it to my depression and self loathing…
The nightmares are just to horrid
There almost as terrifying as my reality
There both becoming unbearable
Without any light condemn me to live
Condemn me to lie..
Inside I am dead…
It would be nice to hold your hand and just look up at the moon
But that’s just my foolish dream…
I’m a fool..
For believing in someone who obviously wants to forget me…
I’m tired of feeling forgotten,unwanted,and unloved..